Craziness

Regretfully, I didn't update after I had finished doing my work for that day. I think I read, overall, about 4 hours, in which I read probably 40 pages. It's an incredibly slow read, and that's when I'm not being distracted by pretty much anything. I guess whichever mental "muscle" is responsible for focus is extremely weak for me.

Hoping for a different result tomorrow, despite no different set of circumstances. Insanity.

Super Sweet Update

Been a while since I updated. I'm kind of self-destructing right now, and more and more it becomes apparent that I keep on making bad decision after bad decision. I believe it's because I suffer from low self-esteem and subconsciously want to keep my life miserable. I picked up a copy of The Six Pillars Of Self-Esteem, and I can tell I'm really hitting the nail on the head because I'm experiencing extreme resistance to reading this book. The more I try to get myself to read it, the more desperately my subconscious looks for a distraction so I don't have to confront the issue.

I know it's getting cerebral and really isn't that fun to follow along, but this is absolutely the most important part of this journey: the foundation. While there aren't clear wapoints, and no clear "victory", this is certainly the most important part of beginning a new life.

Tomorrow's goal is simply to read 8 hours of the book, along with any ancillary work that needs to be done (notes, exercises, whatever). I WILL update tomorrow once I've done this, because I WILL read it. Waking up early tomorrow to get a head start on it.